Addiction: Manipulation and Lying Transformed into Honesty and Regained Dignity

Manipulation is one hallmark of a person who is dealing with an addiction or mental health issue. Lying is the primary tool manipulative people use to continue living a hidden life. The manifestation can be as simple as “I was late to work because I overslept,” or as complex as “I got fired because my boss felt threatened by my superior knowledge.”

A person who has fallen prey to such behavior becomes an expert at lying and deceiving in an effort to pursue a destructive lifestyle. The poor decisions and choices move into the driver’s seat and the person begins to feel like a passenger who has little or no control over the journey. Sadly, they often lose their moral compass, along with their dignity and honor. At RMS, one of the miracles of healing takes place when our students regain their dignity and become honored and trusted again by those whom they love.

Those caught in the “cycle of deceit” know how to manipulate their family and friends to get their way—at any cost. When a loved one is in a relationship with such a person, they know very well the emptiness that comes from being manipulated and betrayed. However, no matter how many times they have been lied to, they may feel it is impossible to halt the cycle. Working off of a genuine sense of compassion or misplaced guilt, family and friends will do almost anything to help, but they are not educated in what it takes to really be of assistance. This emotional response only provides the opportunity for continued manipulation and lies.

To be a friend or family member of one who suffers from a lying problem is one of life’s greatest challenges. To find out that you’ve bought the lies or fallen for the manipulations by someone you truly love is very disheartening. We help those who have been tricked in this way to understand that it’s not personal. To the person with the problem, avoiding responsibility becomes his or her highest priority. The resulting chaos stemming from their lies can be so overwhelming that he or she will do just about anything to continue lying and avoid responsibility. At Red Mountain Sedona, we work with both the student and his or her loved ones to heal the wounds and build a new foundation of hope.

The first step toward healing begins with realizing that the lying and manipulation are not a sign of moral decay, even though it seems that way. If you are caught in the storm of mental health and/or addiction issues, it’s very hard to correct your behavior without outside assistance. While you may have once had a strong sense of right and wrong, that was quickly overwhelmed by your poor decisions and habits. At Red Mountain, we specialize in helping to reverse this destructive cycle.

Of course, most people feel bad about lying and manipulating, but that alone is not enough to stop the abuse. Family and other loved ones must see that healing is possible, and the student must make amends that are meaningful and lasting. At RMS, we treat the whole family system because everyone has some form of hurt that they need to confront before the student can embrace a balanced adult life with adult family relationships.

Healing Takes a Village – Everyone is a Part of the Process

“At RMS we believe that everyone has a noble purpose to share with the world – something that is uniquely theirs to give. Our goal is to help each student find it, grow it, and then use it for the best interest of the world in which they live.”

Josh White, Founder/Executive Director, Red Mountain Sedona

At Red Mountain Sedona, we go beyond traditional treatment methods by working with the whole person, focusing our resources on the body, mind, and soul. Part of this process deals with helping the student realize the fundamental disrepair in their current relationships and how they have been mishandling relationships with those who are closest to them. Understanding and then changing how they treat those in their inner circle is a critical catalyst for change. This step in healing occurs when the student has completed the two crucial steps of acknowledgment and accountability.

Acknowledgment and Accountability Lead to Forgiveness and the Restoration of Dignity

Our students come to accept and acknowledge that they have used lies and manipulation as a way of life, and they then agree that these life strategies are harmful. This is the first step on the road to recovery. This step can take time and does not happen overnight, as denial must often be overcome first.

Next, our students learn to be accountable to themselves and others, and openly admit their past manipulative practices.

As a result, they learn to forgive themselves for their prior transgressions, moving past the shame and rebuilding what they had lost. This is the only way to experience true remorse and restoration. This process of accountability and ownership of past behavior is the second step toward healing.

Additional steps toward a better life are built on these two fundamental milestones.

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction and / or mental health issues and the manipulation and lies that go with it, we can help. At Red Mountain Sedona, we successfully implement treatment programs every day to help students acknowledge their negative behaviors and become accountable for their actions. This is what we do, and the lives that are altered give us great joy. We hope you will share that joy with us.